The curtain is a metaphor for hidden things not fit for public consumption. Susan Scott maintains an international consulting practice through her firm, Fierce Conversations Inc., which provides Fierce Conversations, Fierce Leadership, and Fierce Coaching programs to CEOs and company leaders. We must be willing to engage in fierce conversation on a regular basis to ensure that both parties understand where each is going and how their views have changed, if any have changed at all, because the conversation is the relationship. However, the structure of Mr. Siegfried’s review was a little dramatized and over-the-top. Master the courage to interrogate reality ; 2. An attitude. 3. Dr. Wyld also maintains compilations of works he has helped his students to turn into editorially-reviewed publications at the following sites: Management Concepts (http://toptenmanagement.blogspot.com/), Book Reviews (http://wyld-about-books.blogspot.com/) and. You'll love my book summary product Shortform. Getting fierce means getting real. Be here, prepared to be nowhere else ; 4. * When asked how things are going, don’t just say “Great.” Engage yourself and ask questions about that person’s life. An adjoining question considers a topic in a new context. 1. The subject causing anxiety is the most important one that needs to be addressed. Scott believes that emotion is more important than logic. He argues that an organization’s strategy should always be an extension of those core values. 7. The author frequently uses phrases and mottos to summarize techniques or ideas; for example, one particular type of conversation is called âMineral Rightsâ while another phrase used by the author often is that âLife is curlyâ (meaning life rarely goes according to plan). fierce® CONVERSATIONS Post-Training Discussion MANAGER GUIDE Coaching Conversations teaches how to have developmental coaching conversations using the Mineral Rights Model. The authors give an example of two people meeting at a shopping mall; one is in the food court, and another is on the opposite end of the mall. Don’t allow interruptions. Susan compiled a short list of questions to help us come to terms with and interrogate our own reality. This quote is, “The problem named is the problem solved.” This is true because Susan later goes on to explain that if we do not accurately identify the problem, the time and effort put into trying to resolve the issue will be wasted. Fierce is about getting results, reality, provoking learning, tackling tough challenges, and building relationships through the art and craft of conversation.”. The real risk is that: I will be known; I will be seen; I will be changed . Don’t worry about facing uncomfortable facts; just face them squarely and keep going until you find a solution that works for everyone involved in the project. Over the past two decades, she has shared her expertise with clients through her keynote presentations, TedX Talks, and award-winning books, Fierce Conversations: Achieving Success at Work and in Life, One Conversation at a Time, and Fierce … Susan Scott; 2 The 7 principles of Fierce Conversations. In her meetings with coworkers, Scott attacks the issues head-on, getting everyone to speak up about the things that he or she has been thinking but dares not say. 2. Key Point 2: Co-workers must establish âground truth,â which is a realistic assessment of how the business operates and performs. An attitude. Communications expert Susan Scott maintains that a single conversation can change the trajectory of a career, marriage or life. She shares information about her private life and intimate conversations she has had with people working in the industry, among other things. The book begins by establishing that âfierceâ means honest and authentic, not savage or aggressive. “If we wish to accomplish great things in our organizations and in our lives, then we must come to terms with a basic human need: We must recognize that humans share a universal longing to be known and, being known, to be loved.”(Scott, 2004). It means powerful or intense conversations. Root-cause analysis is limited because many problems have multiple causes. Trunk Decisions: Make the decisions, but report the decision before acting upon it. Susan Scott is a best-selling author and leadership development architect, who currently runs her own company – Fierce, Inc. Applying the Decision Tree where applicable. Fierce Conversations was written in clear terms in order to relate with the reader, along with an ingenious compilation of information to give great supportive structure throughout the book. New York: The Berkley Publishing Group. Instincts are composed of listening to your internal voice and acknowledging your reference point. (98) One of the fiercest conversations is to tell someone how important he or she is in our lives, how much we value and love that person. A way of life. At first glance of the title, I expected to learn to be a ruthless and feared opponent in debates. “Mineral Rights” is a metaphor for a deep, meaningful conversation. Some of the chapters were long and contained information that could potentially be a chapter of its own. - Fierce Conversations, page 19 Scott tells us, “you get what you tolerate”, and she pushes us to pursue deeper conversations that draw out the core truths, and address the underlying issues. 4. Tackle your toughest challenge today ; 5. Fierce Conversations: Achieving success in work and in life, one conversation at a time by Susan Scott. People don’t say what they know is true, and they hide their real selves from others. The second thing Susan most emphasized was, “coming out from behind yourself and make the conversation real.” Her constant emphasis on this phrase developed throughout the book, which eventually highlighted its true importance as it progressed. They are meant for individuals to be leaders, to speak and … Live in this moment, now, listening to and speaking to this … Think about how that happened and take responsibility for your situation. We can stand beside your current programs and probably can replace some of them as well. Describe the ideal outcome – what the desirable outcome from addressing and resolving the issue, and how we feel emotionally about such resolution. Make the Conversation Real – don’t allow your personal wall to block who you truly are to others. Fierce Conversations: Achieving Success at Work and in Life, One Conversation at a Time (originally published in 2002, and revised in 2017) is a self-help guide about the importance of frank, empathetic communication. Fierce conversations are best when they’re authentic and honest. If not, the next best choice is to have a phone call. The problem with focusing on these things is that workers don’t feel deeply connected to them and customers don’t feel loyal towards brands based on values alone. Choose to be authentic. Finally, clarifying questions restate a particular point to make sure everyone is on the same page in this conversation. Seven Principles of Fierce Conversation Principle 1 – Master the courage to interrogate reality: No plan survives its collision with reality, and reality has a habit of shifting, at work and at home. Rather than saying “but,” use the word “and.” Look at the situation from everyone’s perspective before judging them or yourself. To face facts, you need to ask yourself these questions: The first step is to interrogate reality. You got to this point one conversation at a time. One principle of that system is “genchi genbutsu,” a Japanese phrase that roughly translates to “go and see for yourself.” It means leaders need to collect firsthand knowledge about a given situation or problem rather than just read reports or invite people into their offices for lofty discussions. Obey them’, Susan Scott states in principle five of her Fierce Conversations book.. Establishing a relationship is the easy part, but maintaining such relationships is the difficult task. To do that, she explains, you must transform everyday conversations at work and at home with … Finally, relationships should be strengthened by talking with one another. In order for us to make conversation real, it may require us to have a conversation with ourselves to determine our own reality or to resolve an inner conflict. Learn how to have the conversations that strengthen your relationships with the people who matter most in your life. These kinds of questions are often overlooked because people today are so busy trying to find answers quickly that they don’t take time to explore other angles or ask more open-ended questions like this one can inspire conversations which might otherwise not have happened. How to increase clarity and improve understanding. After 13 years of actively engaging herself in consultation and fierce conversation, Susan decided to write a book to enable others to take part in meaningful, fierce conversation. Want to get the main points of Fierce Conversations in 20 minutes or less? Sometimes when we avoid confronting our problems over and over again, it creates a feedback loop where the avoidance behavior is repeated endlessly until it becomes hard to break the pattern. However, listening is only half the battle, pay attention to the other person’s body language, tone of voice and level of emotion they speak with as well; we must show interest, concern and the value of what another person is saying to us. Fierce Conversations Summary and Analysis Buy From Amazon. The Conversation is the Relationship Based on the book Fierce Conversations by Susan Scott Presenter: Joc Clark PhD The Idea of Fierce Fierce conversations do not mean cruel, brutal or angry conversations. Commit to action – follow through with your decision and be determined to overcome all obstacles on the path to resolving the stated issue. When leaders and employees describe a business, they tend to focus on the outer rings of the circle: strategies, products, and services. You shouldn’t do all the talking, and you should ask about the other person’s feelings. A better than usual business book in opening up how much we can improve our relationships not through some strategic plan, but one authentic conversation at a … If you’ve ever felt the need to have an important conversation, but couldn’t bring yourself to it, this book is for you. Overall it was a very well thought out book and I encourage anyone interested to read it as well. * A solution for the problem, in which I will do something about it. Use features like bookmarks, note taking and highlighting while reading Fierce Conversations: Achieving Success at Work and in Life One Conversation … Don’t blame others for things that are out of their control. * How can we get honest answers from the people around us if they’re not willing to share them or are too afraid to speak out against us for fear of losing their jobs/status in society/etc.? For example, pet shelters had a big problem with only half of dogs being adopted, but some shelters found success by focusing on why dogs were brought into the shelter instead of adoption rates. We live in the present moment, but we can’t live anywhere else. Sometimes people have to face difficult issues, but they put them off because those issues are uncomfortable. In business, it’s more important to understand the other person’s perspective than to persuade or manipulate them into agreeing with your own. Reading the full book is highly recommended. The conversations she refers to may be the very ones that you have been avoiding in your relationships at work or at home. Be yourself. Some offices conduct job interviews, team meetings and other important conversations via phone or video feed. Key Point 3: A successful business is built on candid conversations. I believe that this conversation at the very least eliminated her denial that she had a problem and instigated her to taking some positive action. These fierce conversations may even be able to mend relationships that are already deteriorating. Don’t persuade yourself that your instincts are incorrect, or as some say “uneducated thinking.” Examine and evaluate more than surface evidence; look forclue or hints in body language, intent and emotion behind another person’s words. Fully revised and updated—the national bestselling communication skills guide that will help you achieve personal and professional success one conversation at a time.
The master teacher of positive change through powerful communication, Susan Scott wants you to succeed. Books like Fierce Conversations, Difficult Conversations, Crucial Conversations and more recently, Conversational Intelligence and The Power of … Emails are inferior choices and should only be used as a last resort. The second element is interactivity, or encouraging conversations between departments and among coworkers. In conversations, it’s important to learn more about the other person and yourself. You can then use that connection as an opportunity for further discussion about difficult issues and ideas so people can clear up their own confusion about those issues and ideas too. The caveat is not to just use any old question; the questions should be thoughtful and elicit the right kind of information. Susan explained removing the word “but” from our vocabulary; the reason for this being, if we began a statement with a compliment and then use the term “but” as a transition, this may lead the other person to believe that we just used that as an opener in attempt to keep their guard down. Susan Scott maintains an international consulting practice through her firm, Fierce Conversations Inc., which provides Fierce Conversations, Fierce Leadership, and Fierce Coaching programs to CEOs and company leaders. The curtain is a metaphor for hidden things not fit for public consumption. Key Point 6: One must treat the cause of an issue, not its symptoms. Fierce Conversations is a way of conducting business. The third technique is solution awareness – describing some action steps that can be taken in order to improve things. For example, if you’re talking with an underperforming employee, you might acknowledge the reasons for that performance (such as losing a key team member). FreeBookNotes found 5 sites with book summaries or analysis of Fierce Conversations. Fierce conversations principle 5: Trust your instincts (and be the CEO of you) ‘Don’t just trust your instincts. According to the author, it means “one in which we come out from behind ourselves into the conversations and make it real.” It simply means telling what you really feel and being real. People tend to think that being honest will hurt their relationship when in fact it strengthens them because people appreciate honesty. Listening to what others have to say and devoting my full attention to them is most important. Leaders should collect and understand these different points of view so that they can make informed decisions based on them. I’ll apply what I’ve learned in this book in my career by: 1. There are a few things to avoid when you’re in a conversation. Typically, personal conflicts may be so destructive as to sabotage the day-to-day operations of a company and affect performance, morale, and income. Devoting both time and attention into what others have to say is fulfilling the other person’s need of being known. Fierce Conversations Summary. One person’s reality may be different than another person’s; it relies on truth, which it held by both people. This helps them in their personal lives as well as with their work. Our relationships with other people rely on openly speaking what we are thinking; and some fail because we do not say what we’re really thinking and leave the other person in the dark. Dodging the problem or issue will do nothing but prolong the dilemma and allow the most extreme result to come of it. 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Whenever we say the word ‘but’ everything else we just said before then gets forgotten and thrown out the window.”, Come Out from Behind Yourself into the Conversation and Make It Real, “You cannot have the life you want, make the decisions you want, or be the leader you are capable of being until your actions represent an authentic expression of who you really are, or who you wish to become.”(Scott, 2004). If you’ve ever felt the need to have an important conversation, but couldn’t bring yourself to it, this book is for you. It’s easy to avoid difficult conversations in order to keep a relationship going; however, that doesn’t solve the problem and just makes things worse. Be yourself. This is especially true when there’s some sort of confrontation going on because body language and tone of voice can help defuse tension. Fierce Conversations: Achieving Success at Work and in Life One Conversation at a Time (ISBN 0-425-19337-3) is a self-help book written by Susan Scott, founder and CEO of Fierce Inc., about how to have a difficult conversation. Unconsciously, we end our conversations as soon as we initiate them, too afraid of what we might say or hear." You also shouldn’t be too vague or ambiguous with your words. Don’t tell them otherwise. Fierce conversations start with you and how you show up. Challenge yourself to come out from behind your emotional barrier and speak to others in an equal emotional light and authenticity. Don’t bring up anything from previous conversations, even if it’s related to the current one. Unreal conversations abound today; they’re costly to your relationships because they build up or tear down relationships depending on how truthful you are in those conversations. Conversations are the core of relationships. Report the action(s) taken at regular daily, weekly or monthly intervals. The Principles of Conversation. * What issues do my conversations avoid at work and at home? Relationships will fail unless the other person expresses how they feel or what they’re thinking. Susan Scott; 2 The 7 principles of Fierce Conversations. How to handle strong emotions — on both sides of the table. * Am I fulfilling my potential in this job? Even when people recognize a problem, they often focus on the symptoms rather than its cause. Fierce Inc. is committed to corporate, individual, and large-scale transformation models through principles of better conversation. This deep-dive session with a Fierce Master Facilitator into our content will significantly strengthen your facilitation skills, increase your understanding and comprehension of Fierce itself, and build personal best-in-class training and facilitation skills. “A fierce conversation is not about holding forth on your point of view, but about provoking learning by sitting with someone side by side and jointly interrogating reality. 2. Fierce – meaning robust, intense, strong, powerful, passionate, eager and unbridled. Determine the current impact – how is this issue affecting my life, how it impacts others and how it makes me feel emotionally. The conversation IS the relationship. Do the hard things right away, and they’ll be easier to do. An example that illustrates the behavior you want to change. Susan’s chapters correspond along with a list of helpful steps for fierce conversations, which are appropriately titled “Mineral Rights.” These steps were also aided by a tool titled “The Decision Tree,” which helps the delegation and professional development of decisions made within a company or business. Each type is best suited for a different kind of goal. Management styles have changed over the years. Everyone’s reality is valid and is worth being considered, if realities are not explored by both people in the relationship it may cause a buildup of emotional tension that will take twice the time and energy to clean up after than it would have been. Although the examples were very helpful, it started to get a little overbearing reading about several examples to express a point. I'll send you notes on entrepreneurship and summaries of the best books I'm reading. Maybe things are good at home and work, but you still have to be careful with what’s being said in conversations because they can affect the outcome of those situations too. In each chapter, the author uses tools to reinforce her ideas and help readers apply them in their own lives; these include checklists, reflection prompts, conversation models, templates, questionnaires, and assignments. Donât forget to keep appointments unless there’s an emergency that prevents you from doing so. Fierce Conversations, Inc is a company that works with business and industry CEOs to help them be more effective leaders and build more effective teams. In your next conversation, pay attention to your thoughts and emotions. The premise behind the fifth principle is that our thoughts can be classified into three categories: private, neutral and public. How to expand and enrich conversations with colleagues, customers, friends and family members. Be here, prepared to be nowhere else. Sign up for a 5-day free trial here. Scott advocates truthfulness because it is direct, it is effective, it saves time … http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TPg9xDbQQNU. Our words have a lingering effect (emotional wake) on the people we interact with. Candid or “fierce” conversations are usually avoided under the pretext that fierce conversations take too long – however, Scott points out that anything other than truthful conversations take a lot more time. An analogy can be drawn between these two examples because they both serve as ways to illustrate a point more effectively than simply stating facts would allow. Check for understanding – check for understanding on how we interpret someone’s expression of their own reality. I intend to apply this process where, and when, I can. "There is so much more to listen to than words. Although some may be difficult to follow at times, they are certainly important to consider for the sake of your organization, personal relationships and yourself. Takeaways from Mark Zuckerberg: How to Build the Future (YC’s The Macro), The Best Things I Learned from Ashton Kutcher, Tech Investor, Best Summary + PDF: The Power of Habit, by Charles Duhigg, The Best Things I Learned from Sara Blakely, Spanx Founder, Best Summary + PDF: How Not to Die, by Michael Greger, The Monkey Wrench Gang Book Summary, by Edward Abbey, Poor Charlie's Almanack by Charlie Munger | Book Summary and PDF, Prisoners Of Geography Book Summary, by Tim Marshall, Gender Trouble Book Summary, by Judith Butler. This involves asking the right questions and using the answers to formulate a strategy. G Don’t worry about problems that are not immediate. Silence gives time to reflect on and identify the problem at hand, rather than the effect of everything that has happened as a result. Interrogate reality – challenge your employees and co-workers to express how they really feel, rather than locking everything up in a box and trying to ignore it. To start a discussion, carefully think about what the problem or issue is. The case studies from her consulting practice are very instructive. Obey them’, Susan Scott states in principle five of her Fierce Conversations book.. Fierce Conversations – The Mineral Rights Conversation (Source: Fierce Conversations – Author: Susan Scott) Process Questions to Get There… Tracking Name the Issue What is the most important thing we need to be talking about today? Be prepared to deal with conflict if the other person does not react to your words as planned. Once you understand it, you can solve it easily. In summary, Fierce Conversations is a book we all need in one way or another. It means powerful or intense conversations. Sitting slouched in a chair, avoiding eye contact and staring at the wall shows lack of interest and tells the other person that you aren’t really interested in what he or she has to say. Fierce was developed for global challenges of organizations today. (p.7) • Being real is not the risk. Many workplaces prefer email or instant messaging as their main form of communication. Fierce Conversations - Summary - Free download as PDF File (.pdf), Text File (.txt) or view presentation slides online. Listening for the inner voice helps you connect with others in meaningful ways because they’ll feel like you’re listening to them as well. Conversations should be grounded in the truth, because otherwise it’s a waste of breath to talk about things that aren’t true at all. Despite these differences, people tend to severely overestimate the effectiveness of email and downplay the power of face-to-face interactions. Susan dwells on the importance of if we really ask someone something; they will really answer in return. Shortform: The World's Best Book Summaries, Shortform Blog: Free Guides and Excerpts of Books. What do I usually talk about with people? * Be humble and listen to what they say. Lillian wrote, “People change and forget to tell one another.” The degradation of relationships – whether it is work-related or private life – is due to the fact that people don’t communicate their change in thinking, living or viewpoint of reality. 1. Why? Tell the truth and let the truth be told in every conversation you have with others. In “Fierce Conversations: Achieving Success at Work and in Life One Conversation at a Time,” author Susan Scott defines fierce as “robust, intense, strong, powerful, passionate, eager, unbridled.” Fierce conversations are meant for both personal and professional situations. Solve them as they come up, but don’t dwell on them or you … Weak Teams want agreement. By listening to what others have to say, we are attempting to understand their interpretation of reality through empathy. In the past, it was common for leaders to be dictatorial and make decisions without consulting others. I explained this to a potential employer at one point during an interview I had went through, and he replied with, “You’re right. They can either make or break a relationship, as they’re what hold it together. The three steps of interrogating reality with another person are: Make a proposal – make it a point to tell the other person that you value the other person’s view and ask them to engage in fierce conversation. Build mutual understanding anxiety is the most extreme result to come to terms and. Curated by our expert team questions is priority at this point to make understanding on we... Seen ; I will be changed - Kindle edition by Scott, Susan Scott part. And feared opponent in debates for favors and even offering positive feedback business must articulate its values, and.. Out for her words to sink in, while telling others about such conversations one way or another also jobs. 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